Trek

I have so many feelings about Trek. I don't even know where to begin. I think I experienced every emotion and completely fell in love with my "kids". We were asked to be Ma and Pa over a Young Single Adult group and I'll be honest, I wasn't very happy about it. I didn't think it would be near as fun as the younger kids, but I was completely wrong. It was the best!

 

I had to fill out a survey for the Trek committee after we had returned home from Trek and I thought I would share what I wrote there because it was so soon after our adventure and my feelings were still very fresh. So here you go...

 

FORMING YOUR FAMILY

Things to think about: Finding out about your family ▪ How your family was called together ▪ Ages ▪ Boy/Girl ratio ▪ Other thoughts ▪ Suggestions

            LOVED our family. It was nice to have a list of names beforehand to have in mind as we departed for Trek. I will be honest and say Steve and I stressed a little bit about how we were supposed to introduce ourselves to the group. We were told to come up with some funny limerick or something that would make the kids want to be in our family and I was worried because I felt like that was something we were trying to avoid. Steve and I spent a lot of time talking about this and then we ended up worrying about nothing because they didn’t do that. I was very relieved. I thought it turned out better the way they did it. The only thing that would have been better is if they had told us where to gather our family. I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was supposed to go and I thought that was a bad first impression for our family to be scrambling just as we were put together. Everything turned out fine and I am so glad for the YSL’s we experienced Trek with.

WOMEN’S PULL

There’s a LOT to think about here.  Please share.

            I have so many emotions about the women’s pull and I don’t know how to write it down. Our experience was an eye opening one for me and my girls. We had been told very little about what we would be doing and we were sure we would be fine. As a group we brainstormed ways that we could help the other wagons. We thought it would be best if we went first so that we could go back down and help others up, but we were told that we would not be allowed to do that. So we changed strategies and decided it would be best to go last and motivate those in front of us. We would make sure no one was left behind by being the last in the train. The trail was long and full of hills. I remember looking around after the last hill before the really big hill wondering where the men were. Weren’t they supposed to watch us go up the hard part? I was confused because I was sure we were doing the hard stuff. Then we came around the bend and saw the crazy mountain that was yet to be climbed. I realized that my girls were very tired and we hadn’t done the hard part yet. I knew this was going to be much harder for us than any of us had anticipated and I started to get worried that we might not make it. I had a wagon full of YSL’s and the only thoughts that were going through my mind were thoughts of the wagons before us with much younger girls. We waited at the bottom of the mountain for the wagon ahead of us to make it to the top. This also gave my girls a rest. I looked up and saw our men lining the trail up the mountain. I knew it was time but I was very hesitant to start walking. Finally I urged the girls to begin our trek. It was crazy hard even from the beginning. As we reached the boys in our family their faces were heart wrenching. They all had red eyes and seemed desperate to help us. I could barely look at them. My mind was racing… this is so hard!... I don’t know if we can do this!... How did the other wagons get up this hill?... How did the pioneer women do this without their husbands and with young children? I thought about myself as a pioneer and having to take my small children across the plains and up big mountains. My heart broke, or exploded might be a better word. I could barely move my feet up this mountain but I felt the spirit stronger than I remember feeling it. Brother Cox and Brother Lowry stood on the side of the trail singing “Come, Come Ye Saints” as I tried to yell encouragements to my girls. The boys were spraying us with water and fanning us with their hats. I remember looking up and doubting that we were going to make it to the top. My two youngest girls seemed to be losing it. I thought one of them was on the verge of throwing up and the other was about to pass out. But we had to keep moving. All of a sudden a rush of girls came flooding from the top of the hill. I didn’t quite know what was happening but I realized they were trying to find any way to grab our cart and help us to the top. I was relieved because I knew with them we could do it. It felt like we started running to the top of the mountain and then all of a sudden we were at the top and the men grabbed the cart and rushed it away. My emotions were going crazy. So many things were going on inside of me and I needed a moment to myself. I felt complete gratitude for those who had gone before me, for those who had given me this experience , and for those I experienced all of this with. It was so hard but it was so amazing. I was a ball of contradictions. I was so happy to have accomplished the feat of climbing the mountain but never wanted to even look at it again. I needed Steve. I was looking all around trying to find him in the see of wagons and people. Finally I spotted him across the field and started that way. He saw me coming and began walking towards me. When we reached each other we hugged and that was it for me. I was a mess. We cried and held each other for a long time. I remember feeling a love for him that was so much stronger and deeper than I had felt in a long time. I told him to never leave me and he promised he wouldn’t. It was such a tender moment for us. For me. After I recovered I found all of my girls and gathered them together. We talked about our experience and I told them that we needed to learn a lesson from this. Our lesson was that we thought we were untouchable. We thought we could do anything and that it was the other families that were going to need our help. We were way off. We were the ones we struggled. We were the ones who needed their help. This is the same with life. There are times when we think we have it all figured out. That we are the ones who are doing everything right, but that those are the times we will trip and fall. Make mistakes and need extra help. Those are the times that we need to accept the help that is offered to us. Our family changed after the women’s pull. We became a unit. A whole. We needed everyone in our family and couldn’t do anything without everyone there. It was awesome.

 

MISC

Other things that you want to share or suggest that are not listed above . . .

            Trek is something I will never forget. This whole experience was done so fabulously that I can’t even express my gratitude. Job well done!

Finally, will you share one or two family or personal experiences that were meaningful to you? With your permission, we would like to compile these stories in our Trek history book.

            There was a point before Trek when I was sure the Stake leaders had called the wrong people to be Ma’s and Pa’s. At least in the case of Steve and I. I was sure I couldn’t offer all that was needed to be offered as a Ma. I worried that I couldn’t give the kids what they needed. But I learned something on Trek. It wasn’t about what I could give to the kids, it was what I could get out of this Trek experience. Trek was for me, and not the other way around.

Something changed in me while I was on Trek. I had such an incredibly awesome experience and I hope I never forget it. When the circle broke at the Stake Center after our final prayer it was like my heart broke. I didn’t want to leave these people of the feelings I felt on the mountain. I felt the spirit around us every minute on Trek. It was there through everything and I didn’t want to lose it. Steve and I still talk about it most nights. I’ve had a hard time being home because I feel like I can’t get that feeling back. I want it to be around me all the time as strongly as it was around me on Trek. I feel like a changed woman. I am grateful for that. The bonds that were created, the lessons that were taught and mostly, the gratitude that I gained for our pioneer ancestors are more than I could have imagined they would ever be.

            I will forever be grateful for this experience. I will always remember that there is a reason for every calling and to never say no, and to always do my very best no matter what. I know now that if I do I will be the one who comes out ahead. Thank you for this experience.