Happy Birthday CREW!

Happy Birthday Kid!

I can't tell you how much I love you and am so grateful to have you as my little boy. I've been thinking a lot about the day you were born. About being in the hospital and being ever so anxious for your arrival. I remember begging for an epidural and then not getting it in time so I was able to feel you being born but without the pain. It was amazing. I remember looking at the clock - 3:27 pm - and knowing this time would be with me forever. And it is. I tried telling that to you today but you were too busy to listen, or maybe you didn't quite understand what I was talking about. I'm not sure. But remembering it made me feel full, happy, excited and sad all at the same time. So full because I feel like I have so much and I am so lucky, happy because I got just what I wanted, excited for all that you have become and all you are going to be, and sad because you aren't my little baby anymore. You are so big. You are still my lovie. My boy who tells me my hair is pretty as he combs his fingers through it. Who hugs me over and over if I ask him to because he likes to make me happy. My boy who is stronger and braver than any other 3 year old I know. Who makes me wish I were as brave as him. As brave as you. You are my sweetheart, my sensitive soul.

3 years ago at this very moment I was in my hospital room with your dad and we were holding you and loving you. Amazed at the journey that had brought us there. Loving the result we had been given. So tired but so ready to do it all again at the drop of a hat. Anything for you. I love you kid. I hope I can be all that you need and want in a mom. I hope you know that I would do anything for you to make you happy and smile. You are wonderful and special, and mine... all mine.

Happy 3rd!